Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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