pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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