You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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