how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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