sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
