I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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