grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
