he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize