just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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