Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
