You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My nipple is on Facebook.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize