party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
