my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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