there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
