I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
