This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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