her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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