Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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