guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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