is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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