Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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