i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
