i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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