She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
