you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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