omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
