all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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