So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
