College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
