Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
