physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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