can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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