how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
