did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
