I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize