my being single is dangerous.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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