After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
