Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
