We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
