Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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