I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
