Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
