Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
