I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
