Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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