im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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