Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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