how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
