I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
