So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it's great music for shaving your balls
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
