we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
