I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
