I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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