I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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