My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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