Grow some girl-balls and come out already
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
