She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
