So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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