When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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