He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
